Thursday, March 31, 2005

Sandy's Sock's

Well isn't this just precious. Mr. Sandy Berger is caught using classified documents as "insulation of the cheapest kind."

No matter, the world will once again turn on its axis. Sandy oughta get his security clearance back shortly after Bill gets his law license back.

Oh yeah. Hat tip Powerline. The most unusual thing about this story is that those guys posted the story from a CBSnews website. I'd Rather they link through another source.

Now I make the disgruntled sound that Ackroyd made while drunk in a Santa outfit. He had wet his pants, stuffed a fish down his shirt and pulled a gun on Eddie Murphy (Trading Places). EEAAAAAUUUUGGHH.

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update

Thanks for the info Balloon Juice

Monday, March 28, 2005

He aint heavy...

My scheming brother, who lives on the other side of the world, dares to challenge me at the weight loss game. This, I will accept. I figure, I can't lose; over there he will have to lose 2.2 times as much as me. What a sucker.

Saturday, March 26, 2005

A week already

Hey all:

Busy week. Work had me stapled to my chair for a bit. I did, however, manage to pluck myself away for a 5 oclock in the morning class called, oddly enough, P.E.. What an awesome idea. I plan to attend next Wednesday as well.

Why was P.E. so effective? First, I forgot my note (heh). Really, though, the best parts involved an absence of annoying base and throb music as well as an opportunity to interact with other members of the class. Fernando was stuck as my partner. It was good to actually chat rather than just stay a half beat behind and out of breath.

After two circuits of varied exercises around the basketball court, we played some bastardized version of capture the flag (there were six nerf balls in any of three hula hoops on the court) and all players wore flag football belts. With time being precious in the class, I believe we skipped the rules. Heck, thats OK, my brain was writing anaerobic checks (my body couldn't cash them).

In Bob Eucher style, I managed to become my own hero by diving across the court to stop an opponent from scoring. I failed, but looked tremendous as I bowled over others. Yeah.

It has been a long time since I actually enjoyed being painfully out of breath with parquet floor screeeeech wounds to my legs. Maybe it is more fun looking back on it... I don't think the doubled over drool stance was that much fun at the time (wheeeeze).

In other news...what the heck is wrong with me? I had a client call me and cancel his transaction today. I even think it was the right decision for him right now. Cool.

I think it may have triggered "comfort food binge man" to awaken and return from Monster Island. So what did I eat today?

This evening I ate 3 corndogs, two bags of buttered microwave popcorn, a can of chunky soup with a complete tube of saltines, and two super huge bowls of Honey Nut Cheerio's. ...And I didn't walk the dog...Ugh.

As I ushered at church today, I noticed an awesome idea that was incorporated into the service. Usually, the background for the projection of the worship song lyrics is candles or clouds or colors. Today, it was a live feed of an artist painting an Easter themed canvas. She did so in full view of everyone up on the...uh...stage?...in real time.

As we were collecting the offering and singing the last praise song, she painted in calligraphic style, "It Is Finished" on the bottom of the work. We had watched this take shape for the last hour and a bit, starting with seemingly abstract and random color selection and ending with a cross, thorns and nails. It is difficult to monitor the wicker baskets with tears in my eyes.

More soon.

Saturday, March 19, 2005

Tulip festival in Woodburn Or

Sarah smells hyacinth

After midnight

Even though my Aunt and Uncle were right behind me for that last post, breathing on my neck, I meant what I said about them. They seem intrigued by the blog technology, look for a travel blog from them soon.

It seems that my exercise today will be limited to carrying my two year old much of the time as we walk through the rain at the opening day of the Tulip Festival. The lovely Mrs. (Dr.) Wade tried to make our front yard the tulip festival (okay, okay; my fault, at Home Depot the bulbs come in bulk quantities) (how can a guy resist). Man oh man, do 500 tulips in the front yard bring the color of spring to your curb appeal. I will try to post some pics of the front yard here.

Despite being busy at work, I commit before all of my zero readers that on Monday I will be back in the gym at 530am for David's Body Pump class.

Friday, March 18, 2005

Company is in town for a few days

Oma and Opa have come. Just what I needed, another excuse to avoid the gym. Still, I wouldn't trade the time with the nicest folks we know.

Sunday, March 13, 2005

UAW makes an enemy of Marines?

Hat tip to Blackfive and now Drudge runs with the story from a (I think) smaller Detroit paper (automotive specialty; anyway). It appears that the UAW has decided to no longer allow Marine Resevists training nearby to park in their lot if they drive foreign cars or have Bush stickers on their cars. My guess is they alienate almost all of them; and me.

I have had union jobs and non union jobs. I hold no ill will toward those who conduct collective bargaining, but they seem to live in a world where tunnel vision is the norm. In one fell swoop, the Union will be twisting and turning to try to recharacterize their actions as noble and good. Bull... more catarwholing about made in the USA while the horse has already left and returned to the barn. Now that I drive a Honda minivan, it is made in Tennessee (again, I think) (but not by people who pay for the job and have the dues go without permission to the DNC and other causes).

In truth, I drive a chevy diesel pickup, my wife drives the minivan. Same same, my pickup had its engine designed from Isuzu roots. Can THEY defend that.

As the Iraq war has progressed, I have noticed a couple of signs and comments about this next comment but cannot accurately attribute it; it may be just common knowledge around the world. "Marines, no better friend, no worse enemy..." or something like that.

Off to the gym in the morning

Wednesday, March 09, 2005

And the doctor called yesterday

What is it about me, the doctor calls with unsettling test results and suddenly I am giddy at the prospect of looking up the test abnormalities against internet diagnoses.

I should play with horses rather (don't use that word) than zebras. So my blood pressure is elevated as are my blood sugar and AST levels (AST has something to do with liver function). I don't think we played the cholesterol or lipid cards this go round.

Sounds like my fat pig status is somewhat confirmed.

Will Wade find this news motivating? Has he done much after starting his blog? Other than write at length about nothing? (kinda like a Eugen Ionescu play).

Time will tell.

Two days from a workout

Yep, I missed this morning. My wife said when the alarm went off at 430, I said something about running a credit report on the other guy, and because he didn't qualify, we didn't go to the gym. Dementia, tired, or another excuse. Hmmm...

Follow my nonexistant segue...

We were camping last weekend; sitting around the firepit trying to get our junk mail to burn as more than kindling (there is so much of it). Little Sarah had just nodded off in her bunk. Basia and I were watching some dude in a Ford Ranger (Lloyd) pulling a reasonably sized trailer running through the campground at breakneck (for a campground) speed going the wrong way. The first time, it was sort of amusing. After pausing to do who knows what, he started around again. Something inside me snapped.

My response was wholly unsatisfactory. I grabbed my flashlight and stood out in the little roadway like Freddie Krueger or something. When he stopped I interrogated him about whether he was lost or just nuts. He apologized; he had just purchased the trailer and was having difficulty backing up the trailer in the dark. I did not offer to help, even though I have precisely the kind of experience that could have relieved his distress.

It was not until later that I walked over to his campsite and apologized. Why is it that I can not seem to get my responses right at the right time. On days like that and in times like that, I make myself sick. My wife will attest, however, that I am mastering the art and timing of the apology. I guess that is progress.

Monday, March 07, 2005

Snooze bar loses today

Darned if I didn't get up before 5am and boogie over to workout.

Something called "bodypump"-- step aerobics with barbells? I tried it about two months ago as well, but that time I pretended I was superman to impress the 50 year old lady in back (but she was still doin' more weight). The morning after my first attempt, I awoke with no body, just pain. It must have been those lunges; how can that David guy do 5 classes a day (and why did I always have a note for PE in school).

For this attempt I figured that by using rediculously small weights on the barbells, I could kinda catch up rather than throw up. I rationalize it in two ways. First, I weigh over 250, who would I impress anyway (except for not having a coronary). Second and possibly more important, I am keeping in mind the concept of merging onto a freeway (there is a right way and a wrong way) (hint; impressing the 50 year old lady doesn't work there and it won't work here).

Fourteen hours later and I am still going. No shaking, no aching.

Sunday, March 06, 2005

Some things, we all take for granted

When I was in Texas in the mid 1980's, I stumbled across what would become my favorite saying. As I was driving near the northern apex of I-410 in San Antonio, I noticed a marquis in front of a church (I don't remember the name or brand): "All sun and no rain makes a desert." That one stuck with me almost as long as the conversation I had about pain with my high school biology teacher (sadly, here again, my memory lapses (Woodrow Wilson High School, Long Beach California, about 1980-2ish, big guy with a beard, 2nd floor of that one building, pink (the building)))... oh, the conversation... I understood that he advocated not alleviating all pain from an injury. He said pain is the body's way of saying, "get off me... I hurt!" That was profound for a high-schooler.

As I slipped into midddle age in a country where health is assumed, I was due for a rude awakening. If you have read this post, you may have noticed that my most recent excuse for being a lazy slug involves a wacky disorder with my right eye. Wow. It has been two months since my imaginary friend first shoved a needle through my right eye (east to west). It seemed that I was doomed to ride cascading side effects of drug after drug on the way back to health; but then a change was made.

As my little daughter Sarah has been known to say (read in the cutest voice possible), "There, Daddy...Is that better?" I don't know exactly how to convey my joy at again being without pain. My smiles and laughter suddenly feel less of a mask, I have instant energy. Yay!

As I started the new regimen, we left on a camping trip. Coupla days in the woods with just our rolling apartment behind us. In all respects a wonderful trip.

While I can, at this point, only dream of triathlons or even fitness; peddling through the woods with my daughter in the Burley (bicycle trailer) was a wonderful workout. We spent some of Sunday examining Timberline lodge and inquiring about winter sports (some of my favorites) (looks like Sarah might get to have her first skiing lesson Thanksgivingish).

A great weekend for parents of youngsters is often punctuated by whining (Sarah assumes that because we are leaving the playground, we will never return and nothing will ever be fun again). Then ten minutes later, we set up the next activity to generate the pouty lip on departure. I must say, though, the high point was not exciting, exerting, or earth shattering. It was reading Dr. Seuss books by campfire (Sarah's hair was still wet, so I hope she doesn't catch her death of cold).

...But what of the coming morning? It appears that the sun is already shining (at least in my heart). How blessed I am. It is good to again comprehend normal as wonderous (the last time was soon after I discovered Prilosec; after that many years, I didn't even feel the heartburn until it went away).

As Pastor James Gleason from our church (Sonrise; Hillsboro Oregon) says, "Change your heart, change your mind, change your life!" All I have to do is hear the alarm in the morning and I am off to do all manner of beneficial yet stressful activities.

Enough for today, seeya tomorrow.

Thursday, March 03, 2005

Boup Boup...Chika Chikkkkaaahhh...Oh yeah

Ever had a song stuck in your head? I keep hearing this song and visualizing Ferris Beuller's day off.

Well, I didn't get to the gym in the morning the other day (any real surprise), but we are impromptizing a camping (what we call our trailer in an RV park) trip to Mt. Hood. The bikes and baby trailer (for the back of the bike) will be on top of the truck. Food, Scrabble, exercise. I just hope my cell phone doesn't start buzzing away.

Oh heck, can I tell you a funny story I just remembered?

A long time ago in a galaxy far far away (before I was married and had a family; 10 years) I used to jump out of planes for profit. Folks wanted to learn and I wanted the free jump and the walking around money.

Anyway, one day, shortly after having exited on a "single instructor" "first freefall" jump (the student had 5 previous static line jumps), I got a weird surprise. The plan was to expose the student to the wonders and sensory overload of freefall, get him to practice his ripcord touches, keep altitude awareness and open his parachute at the proper altitude (4,500 feet for this jump). We expected to have about 25 seconds in freefall.

**("Mr. Instructor Guy, what do I do if I look at my altimeter and we have already passed 4,500 feet?" "No sweat, just wait and it will come around again).

Anyway, he was a great student and an all around good guy, so I was a bit surprised when he went fetal on me after about ten seconds. Fortunately, I have never been small. I utilized my mass, leverage and my aerodynamic advantage (I fall like a greased bowling ball if needed) to get him back. The whole fiasco only lasted about ten seconds and then he opened his canopy at the assigned altitude.

What does this have to do with anything? Turns out, Freddies pager had gone off in freefall, buzzing his hip like crazy (having never been in freefall before, he thought something was coming apart and couldn't figure out why I hadn't spit out my gum and I was still smiling.

On the prejump prep, I missed that he had not taken it off and put his jumpsuit over it; my fault. ...But hey, that sure would be an awful time to get that urgent message.

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Anyway, I am changing to a different steroid for my eye...yay. I have hopes of pain free living again soon. Speaking of songs, "Doctor...my eyes!"